Robert Golob Wins Slovenian Election: The Fuck Just Happened?

OK, so the “just” in the title is doing a lot of heavy lifting here, seeing as it has been nearly 72 hours since Robert Golob taking Janez Janša to the cleaner’s became global news. But still, Marshall Twito being defeated at the ballot box by a political adversary he himself had created, for the second time, is a big fucking deal.

Gibanje Svoboda led by Robert Golob threw a party after the election results were in.
Party at Gibanje Svoboda electoral HQ after the results came in (source)

But, wait, did pengovsky really state that Golob took Janša to the cleaner’s? He did? Well… In fact, the Glorious Leader and (some of his) minions even slightly increased their MP count. It is just that Robert Golob and his newly-minted party Gibanje Svoboda (GS) won basically all the other marbles, ending up with 41 MPs in a 90-seat parliament. Reader, it was a blow-out.

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Ukraine War Forces Slovenian Politics To Think Foreign Policy Thoughts

In all honesty, it is a bit self-serving to try and look at Russian war against Ukraine through the lens of Muddy Hollows and its political cesspool. But seeing as this is an utterly self-serving blog, pengovsky will go right ahead. PM Janša, on the other hand, will stay put, as the Russian aggression preempted his photo-op in Kyiv planned for today.

Flags if Ukraine in the government district in Ljubljana.
Ukrainian flags in the government district in Ljubljana (source)

This, incidentally, should make the Glorious Leader available for a court-date in a defamation case against him. But he’ll probably claim an emergency NatSec Council meeting or something like that. And for once, he may not be lying through his teeth to get out of a court date.

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The State of Muddy Hollows Play, part 1: Party Like It’s 1939

It has been… checks notes… more than a month since pengovsky posted anything on the state of play in Muddy Hollows. There were things to see and people to do and whatnot, but still apologies are in order. So, yeah..

Slovenian PM Janez Janša during a meeting of the coalition that kind of runs the show in Muddy Hollows
The Glorious Leader at a coalition pow-wow (source)

But shit did not stop going down in Slovenia and both readers were pleading, nay, screaming for an update. Which turned into an update series. Because who wants to read a five-thousad-words blogpost? Anyway, it so happens that said updates include pigeons, turncoats and rebrandings. They will also introduce a shitload of new parties, suspicious public opinion polls and overt hints to a Trump playbook. Oh, and a letter from the Glorious Leader.

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Igor Zorčič Lives To See Another Day

Igor Zorčič just started his second iteration as speaker of the Slovenian parliament. He was appointed to the post as part of the coalition deal Janez Janša cobbled together in 2020. And he remains in the post in 2021 (at least for now) after quitting the SMC days ago, with Janša’s coalition, now deep in the minority government territory, unable to muster the votes to replaces him. This is serious political survival shit.

Speaker Igor Zorčič in a parliamentary session.
Speaker Igor Zorčič remains at his post (source: Matija Sušnik/National Assembly)

Things have been picking up pace in Muddy Hollows for some time now. They really accelerated days ago, however, when Janja Sluga, Brane Rajić and Igor Zorčič quit the SMC and joined forces with Jurij Lep who quit DeSUS and formed a group of independent MPs. The ruling coalition (what’s left of it, anyway) wanted its post back for itself and nominated NSi’s Jožef Horvat to take over. Turns out they were a vote short.

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Laying For Living

Poor Janez Janša, he just can’t seem to catch a break. No sooner did Slovenian PM see off a somewhat flaccid, though not unnerving no-confidence challenge by Karl Erjavec (more on the aftermath in the coming days), he already started another dumpster fire, this time following a not-so-flattering article by Politico Europe’s Lili Bayer on his love-hate relationship with the media. As in, how he loves to hate them.

Janez Janša railing against Politico Europe journalist on Twitter
Marshal Twito marshaling his minions

For all his professed pro-EU stance, the Glorious Leader seems to be remarkably inept at handling himself on the European stage. Which is, well, not ideal for a guy whose crowning achievement (as per his Twitter bio) was leading the EU Council for six months in 2008. And yet, just as he fucked up royally when he went to bat for his capo Viktor Orban over the rule of law last November, so did he land in a pile of flaming dog shit this week as he and his minions went after the Politico journalist.

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