Harold Wilson once observed that a week in politics is a long time. Slovenian PM and everyone’s new favourite whipping boy Janez Janša proved once more that the late British leader was right on the fucking money. In case you spent the last 72 hours under a rock or trying to evacuate Kabul, the story is that the Glorious Leader again buckled under the tiniest of pressures from European Parliament and had suffered Twitter meltdown.
However, in an apparent attempt to keep things interesting, Janša laced his latest temper tantrum with a healthy dose of antisemitic dog-whistles, misogyny and choice conspiracy theories. Moreover, to erase what little diplomatic standing he had generated for himself and for the country he unfortunately leads, Marshal Twito started a diplomatic kerfuffle with none other than The Netherlands. Cue eating popcorn gif.
Janez Janša saw the 30th anniversary of Slovenian independence as something of a personal milestone. He is the only senior figure of the 1991 independence struggle who is still in public service. Everyone else is either retired, dead or in prison. It was to be a joyous occasion, crowned a few days later by Muddy Hollows taking over EU Council presidency.
Instead, the Glorious Leader spent the anniversary week doing some light LGBT-bashing on the EU stage. With this, he was paying fealty to his Lord Protectór and then denied all of it, only to be, well, outed by none other than Luxembourg PM Xavier Bettel. Awkward.
The clusterfuck is complete and there will be a bloodbath. The legendary words by the late, great Jaša L. Zlobec, although uttered in a different context, never seemed more appropriate than these days, as the story of what is becoming known as “Slovenian non-paper” on partition of Bosnia and the rest of Western Balkans is developing at pace.
There are many angles to this story, none of them appealing to the eye. There is nothing to be gained by fooling around with redrawing borders in the Balkans. Doubly so when done in the crass and pedestrian manner the leaked non-paper suggests. The only potential upside to this might be the powers that be paying more attention to Bosnia-Herzegovina. Or at least it might result in Slovenian foreign minister Logar being thrown to the dogs, seeing as this happened on his watch and whatnot.
The temper tantrum Slovenian prime minister Janez Janša threw Friday afternoon during a European Parliament hearing only reiterated what was becoming painfully obvious over the last couple of months: In the face of sustained pressure, Marshal Twito is like a broken valve. He’s there but he just can’t hold it together.
For those of you living under a rock: while attending the second installment of a European Parliament hearing on media freedom and rule of law in Slovenia, the Glorious Leader wanted everyone to see a video his propaganda department made. He was denied by chairperson Sophie in ‘t Veld which caused him to throw a hissy fit and cut the video feed. It was pure, unadulterated shitshow.
Someone please tell prime minister Janez Janša to stop writing letters. Every time he writes one he sets himself up for a fuck-up of epic (epidemic?) proportions. This time is no different. Last weekend, Janša co-authored a sharply-worded letter to European Commission and EU Council presidents. Therein he joined PMs of Austria, Czech Republic, Croatia, Latvia and Bulgaria in complaining about delivery of Covid-19 vaccine doses, basically accusing Brussels of lack of solidarity.
Fast forward a couple of days and PM Janša finds himself bitch-slapped by the European Commission, thrown under the bus by Viktor Órban, and in serious trouble at home for skipping on buying available vaccine doses. As a result the Glorious Leader had to change his story as he went along, walk-back his statements and side-step accusations to the point of reaching his daily 10,000 steps and 500 calories many times over.