The history of every major political party in Muddy Hollows tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why, and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question ‘How can we run the government?’ the second by the question ‘Why do we run the government?’ and the third by the question ‘Where shall we have lunch‘?
With apologies to Douglas Adams, there simply is no better way to describe today’s huddle of the six parties comprising the left-liberal half of the Slovenian political spectrum. To an untrained eye, the lunch date may have seemed like an overture to tighter political collaboration or even semi-unification. In reality, these guys went to lunch because they were hungry.
As you know by know, pengovsky writes this drivel for free. Since Vladimir Prebilič isn’t paying for his this blogger’s coffee (see below), maybe you can, via this link. But no pressure. Just reading this can be taxing enough.
A bowl of petunias would like a word
OK, so maybe there is a little bit more to it than just that. But not much. After PM Robert Golob announced the invite late last week, there was some media scuttlebutt about Big Bird forming some sort of an anti-fascist alliance. Because something something Janša and his relentless march to the far right. Which, fair.
But at the same time, this narrative was a pretty ham-fisted attempt at spinning the whole thing, because initially Golob’s guest list included the conspiratorial anti-waxx and pro-Russian Resnica party as well. So, what in the name of a bowl of petunias was going on yesterday?
First and foremost, this was about letting everyone know who the Big Cheese is around here. Second, it was an attempt to lure at least some of Resnica-adjacent voters back into GS camp. And after all was said and done, Golob mostly succeeded on the first item and mostly failed on the second.
Pengovsky says mostly, because there’s more to this than meets the eye. Obviously…
Last Christmas I gave you my coffee invite
Just before Christmas holidays, after SD and Prerod near-miss, Vladimir Prebilič felt the need to regain some of the credibility he lost with that clustefuck. Somehow, he thought he pull it off by calling a coffee meeting of all left-liberal parties. As if Prerod, scoring well south of the 4% threshold could effectively pretend to be a centre of political gravity. Naturally, everyone single party leader replied that shit dude, their schedules were just so full these days and besides, maybe this isn’t the right time.
So yeah, that, didn’t go well. Whichever advisor gave Vladimir the coffee idea needs to go sit in the back. And given that yesterday, the former future prime minister was more about core platform planks and less about grandly verbose visions for the country, it could well be that someone else is now riding shotgun with Prebilič.
But do you know what an actual centre of political gravity is? That’s right. The largest coalition party and the guy who wiped the floor with Janez Janša back in 2022. And in case anyone had any doubt about that, when Apex Avian sent out his invite for a proper fucking lunch (and not just a sorry-ass coffee, like Prebilič above) everyone else dropped everything and RSVP’d inside of a New York minute.
Pecking order
The idea was as simple as it was bold. Even of nothing else came of this meeting (and indeed, nothing else did come of this meeting), the pecking order was re-established. The lunch party agreed that they will be nice to one another for the duration of the campaign and that their common goal is to avoid a Janša-led government. Given how internecine warfare is a favourite past-time of left-liberal parties (*cough* Miha Kordiš *cough*) this is actually a meaningful development.
Will this get twisted and spun six ways to Sunday as election approaches? In the immortal words of Sarah Palin, you betcha! But yesterday, all that remained for leaders of GS, SD, Prerod, Levica, Vesna, The Pirate Party and Mi Socialisti, was to finish their desert, drink their coffees (which Vladimir Prebilič made a big deal of paying for) and dry-run their talking points and stump speeches. Which is what everyone did and then went home. Well, almost everyone.
For reasons that baffled some professional tasseographers, Golob invited Resnica and its leader Zoran Stevanović as well. Stevo vacillated for a bit and tried sending his party VP instead, whoever that is. But apparently Golob’s people explained that like Taylor Swift concert tickets, this was a personal and non-transferable invitation. To which Stevo went talk to the hand, leading to Resnica having lunch someplace else yesterday.
Not your average doorstop
In reality, Golob was only after a photo-op with Stevanović. Had the leader of we’re-doing-our-own-research party come to a group lunch and shooks hands with the Big Bird, the image of Resnica as a counter-mainstream party would shatter instantly. Moreover, those Resnica-adjacent voters who ultimately chose Golob back in 2022, might see this as permission to do it again.
But despite having the appearance and demeanor of your average gym doorstop, Stevanović is politically savvy enough to see the trap for what it was and managed to avoid it. So, in this Golob was not successful.
That said, Newton’s Third Law applies here, too. And given how Stevo chose not to hobnob with the left-liberal crop, at least some people may come to the conclusion that he is of a more right-wing persuasion. Which may or may not be true, but could well have ramifications down the road. Because those poll numbers that put him just above the 4% parliamentary threshold look really sweet right now. It would be a shame if something were to happen to them…
More to come
But to quote Harold Wilson once again, a week is a long time in politics. And for a campaign as devoid of substance as this one, things sure are picking up speed. Not only does pengovsky still have the defection of Levica’s Matej T. Vatovec to write up, Golob’s KPK chickens are coming home to roost, too.
So stick around, this is getting fun…
