Ten days ago Janez Janša was sworn in as the next prime minister. This made a lot of people in Muddy Hollows really angry and was widely considered to be a bad move. Especially among the dreamers, thinkers, speculative progressives… or, as right-wing pundits would have it, idiots.
However, Glorious Leader updating his Twitter bio was only part of the task. A big part, to be sure, but this is one of those nothing-is-done-until-everything-is-done type of things. And since there is no Janša government without people for Janša to, well, govern, the grand finale started on Monday, with would-be ministers testifying in front of various parliamentary committees. Barring any mayor fuck-ups Slovenia will have Marshal Twito’s fourth government by tomorrow evening.
[…record scratch…] Yup, this is us. You’re probably wondering how we ended up in this situation… Well, this is what pengovsky.com is all about. Eventually, you may still have to figure it out by yourselves, but at least this here blog will definitely make the experience much more fun. Especially if you find it in your heart and/or kidneys to support pengovsky and buy him a coffee every once in a while.
Pengovsky had things to see and people to do over the last two weeks. So apologies are in order, to both readers who spent countless hours clicking the refresh button and trying to figure out why there’s no new content. Well, this changes now. And seeing as we have a lot of ground to cover, let’s start with what the parliamentary hearings have taught us thus far.
Adults in the room
Firstly, and this will come as a surprise to the grand total of zero people, Janša 4.0 is a cabinet chock-full of loyalists. And when pengovsky says loyalists, he doesn’t mean just dyed-in-the-wool SDS cadre. Ironically, some of the most eager boot-lickers and anal climbers in this government are not even Party members. But don’t expect the select few grown-up to put up much of a fight, even if the circumstances warrant it.
Basically, the 15-member cabinet can be divided into three categories: adults in the room, dependents and true believers.
In terms of actual grown-ups, Andrej Šircelj (finance), Tone Kajzer (foreign affairs) and Valentin Hajdinjak (defence) come to mind. Especially Šircelj overseeing state coffers is an oddly comforting thought.
The guy knows his shit and is apparently willing to call spade a spade, at least every once in a while. To give an example at random, he minced no words when he slammed the recent omnibus reduction in VAT for food items (see below), rammed through the parliament by NSi, Demokrati and Resnica.
But if any of the adults in the room think they will be able to rein Janša in whenever his lizard brain will take over, pengovsky has a bridge in Trenta Valley to sell them. Then again, these people have been around the block once or twice and probably know what they’re getting themselves into.
Dependents, true believers and Jernej Vrtovec
It could be their math is mathing different, and that the pros of being a minister outweigh the cons of being a minister in a Janša government. Or it could simply be that they don’t give a flying fuck anymore and took the plunge because you gotta do something in life, right?
Then there are dependents and true believers. And sometimes, the latter two categories are one and the same person. Yes, I’m looking at you, Jernej Vrtovec.
Given the division of portfolios, it is now beyond obvious that NSi president has, in fact, sold his party down the river for a cushy job as minister of infrastructure. And energy, let’s not forget about energy. Jernej Vrtovec will be overseeing a metric fuckton of money that is supposed to go into road, railway and electric grids. Also, the second nuclear power-plant is now likelier to be green-lit (though that was never an if, always just a when).
And, of course, Muddy Hollows is about to have sloppy seconds when it comes to coal. Because what is an unimaginative populist mediocre right wing politician without championing a dirty, money-bleeding and people-killing tech of the 18th century, amirite? But the final proof of Vrtovec being a fucking sell-out comes with Janez Cigler Kralj, NSi second-in-command, taking over as minister of agriculture.
The second-worst job in this government
Sure, being a minister is a political job, so it’s not strictly necessary to be an expert in the area one is running. But it fucking helps. Especially in an area as expansive and critical as agriculture, forestry, fisheries, food and such. And with a degree in political science, an agriculture expert Janez Cigler Kralj ain’t. Then again, Jernej Vrtovec majored in theology, so what do I know, right?
Anyway, the point here is that Cigler Kralj, who at various points over the past few weeks saw himself either as Speaker, or minister of demographics (think family, but more sinister), got slapped with the second-worst portfolio in Janša 4.0 government.
Just think about it: JCK’s party boss is an SDS fanboi. His ultimate boss is the SDS Lord Protector. And his primary constituency (that is to say, the farmers) are organised into a chamber that has SDS-affiliated leadership. He must really be looking forward to being screwed into every orifice, sometimes simultaneously.
And still, this is not the worst job Janša 4.0 has to offer. That particular honour goes to Anže Logar, the future minister or economy and labour. Because yes, under the new managment, labour interests and business interests will now be part of the same porfolio.
Janez Cigler Kralj may be heading into a world of pain on the party side, but Anže Logar, the ultimate dependent of the new regime will soon be begging for someone to put him out of his misery.
Career-ending self-own by Anže Logar
On one hand he will likely draw the ire of businesses who wholly expect him to deliver on his tax- and red-tape-slashing agenda (such as it is) and some of whom may have helped finance his little political adventure.
But on the other, he will definitely incur the wrath of the labour unions that play an incredibly important role in the tripartite neo-corporatist model of Slovenian society. And the relationship did not get off to a great start, either.
You see, even before Marshal Twito allowed his future minions to put his name forward, he let Demokrati, NSi++ and Resnica submit a giant mess of an omnibus bill that upends taxation, health reform, long-term care, VAT and a bunch of other areas, blowing a billion-euro-sized hole in an already iffy budget. This is the same ominbus bill that finance-minister-to-be Šircelj was not happy with. At least with the VAT portion of it.
Never bet against the unions
But the labour unions were not only unhappy, the went positively apeshit and collected the necessary signatures for a referendum initiative practically overnight.
In response, Logar and Vrtovec floated the idea of striking down the obligation of employers to automatically deduct workers’ union does from their paycheck, setting up a neo-Thatcherite fight they will lose. Sure, the employer taking care of the dues may be just an accounting operation but it keeps the money flowing and frees the unions of chasing down membership for their money.
The point here being that the future minister of economy and labour has chosen violence from the get-go, while smart money says to always bet on the unions.
Four years ago, Anže Logar won a staggering 46 % of the vote in the 2022 presidential election. Six weeks ago, he didn’t even get elected to parliament. Then he talked a big game and told Robert Golob to go suck a lemon, despite campaign promises of reaching across the aisle. Then he talked an even bigger game in the buildup to the Janša government and practically dared the labour unions to come at him. And now Janez Janša stuck him with a job that will see him dealing with the unions daily.
That, dear reader, is a career-ending self-own.
Tina Bregant had a very bad day
But speaking of career endings, we need to talk about SLS president Tina Bregant. You see, of the three parties comprising the NSi++ combo, SLS was the only one that got bupkis out of this government. Nothing. Nada. Niente. Rien.
To put it in more precise terms, after providing one of the two non-NSi MPs in a nine-member NSI++ delegation, and winning a quarter of all the votes the trio won on 22 March, SLS got exactly jack shit.
Bregant tried to be a good soldier about it and mumbled something about the goals and ideals being more important than the names of the people achieving them. But it was beyond obvious that she resented being taken for a ride.
Now, with Bregant being the only female coalition party president of the new regime, there’s an obvious argument to be made that she is on the receiving end of some good old-fashioned right-wing sexism and misogyny.
Putting the SLS leader back in her place, or something
Not just the usual profiles in patriarchy, with its systemic obstacles and built-in handicaps for women. Here, we are looking at the more visceral kind of hatred of women, where she needs to be put in her place, like it, and say thank you. Which is precisely what Bregant dutifully did in her very sad Facebook post.
Which makes pengovsky wonder how long she will even last as party leader. She has done what men before her couldn’t, and brought SLS back to the national level. Which means that is quite possible that the men in the party will now thank her for her service and even come up with some bullshit argument about how she couldn’t deliver the result.
That said, this is a full-service website and pengovsky would be amiss if he did not mention that Bregant also comes with some significant baggage from the Covid times. Back then, she was the state secretary (second-in-command) at the ministry of health and apparently authored several measures that were unhinged even by the panicky standards of the pandemic era.
Also, and perhaps this played as much role as anything else, word on the street is that she simply rubs the Glorious Leader the wrong way.
The weakest Janša government ever
On the whole, this is by far the weakest government Janša has ever assembled. But at least in the short term he has managed to offset this by saddling his newly minted coalition partners with portfolios that are just one wrong move away from a raging dumpster fire. With this, he has created a relationship where these people (especially Logar and Vrtovec personally) need his support even more than he needs theirs.
Thus, for the first time ever, Janez Janša will head a government where SDS will not have an outright majority in the cabinet. Because he can afford that. And if either reader is still unconvinced of just how much this will be a government shaped entirely according to the wishes of the Glorious Leader, consider the fact that he will have his personal lawyer appointed as minister of the interior.
That is correct. Franci Matoz, the man representing Janša in almost every criminal and civil case over the last 20+ years, will now be overseeing the entire civilian part of the security apparatus, save SOVA. The spy service will report directly to the prime minister, of course.
Franci Matoz, Janša’s answer to Todd Blanche
Matoz claims that by virtue of being an ex-cop, he has the necessary knowledge and experience to run the department. Which is kind of like saying that by virtue of running a small radio station back, pengovsky is suitable for running RTV Slovenia. But hey, what he may lack in expertise, Franci Matoz more than compensates for in cojones and loyalty.
Which, apparently, are the two qualities Janez Janša is most interested in when handing out top level government jobs.
If this reminds you of the healthy, productive and not at all corrupt relationship between Donald Trump and wannabe A.G. Todd Blanche, you’re not the only one.
