European Commission | SLEEPING WITH PENGOVSKY

Janez Janša’s Letter To Ursula von der Leyen, Annotated

Oh, dear. Looks like it is that time of the year again. Birds migrate, flowers bloom and Slovenian PM Janez Janša writes letters to EU leaders. In this case, a letter to European Commission president Ursula von der Leyen.

Beggining of Janez Janša's letter to Ursula von der Leyen — *The letter, as published by the Slovenian governement’s Twitter account*

Unlike the last time around, Marshal Twito’s latest literary undertaking is mercifully light on maritime metaphors but heavy on manipulative bullshit and passive-aggressive abuse. This, of course, means it is time for a new installment of the developing sub-genre, pengovsky’s annotated readings of letters by the Glorious Leader.

Commissioner of Last Resort (part deux)

There is little doubt that Janez Lenarčič will be a very good European Commissioner for Crisis Management. There is even less doubt that Slovenian prime minister Marjan Šarec does not – to use a popular phrase – give a flying flamingo about which portfolio Commission president Ursula von der Leyen in the end assigned to Lenarčič.

In fact, it seems that rather than seeing them as missteps, PM Šarec decided his recent EU-related faux pas were in fact great successes and were to be repeated rather than avoided. Talk about learning the wrong lesson…

Commissioner of Last Resort

Janez Lenačič, the (current?) Slovenian nominee for commissioner in the upcoming European Commission, had his first hearing in the Slovenian parliament yesterday. As the nomination process is wholly within the government purview, the parliamentary hearing is mostly a dog-and-pony show, intended to appease the grandstanding urges of MPs. Nevertheless, the non-binding vote finally brought to an end to the latest case study in how not to manage human resources.

*Marjan Šarec (left) and Janez Lenarčič (source*)

To say that the entire episode was a shitshow deluxe would be a bit of an understatement. It is incredibly ironic how PM Marjan Šarec was ever so vocal about the bizarre spectacle of shambolic commissioner nomination Muddy Hollows endured in 2014 and yet ended up pretty much in the same place Alenka Bratušek and later Miro Cerar ended up in five years ago.

Trial Balloons

In the post-EU-election hustle some member states are hitting the ground running. Some, however, are not. No points for guessing which category Muddy Hollows is in.

*Marjan Šarec and his weird-ish relationship with the EU (source* *and* *source*)

In fact, rather than defining strategic areas of interest early on and then finding one or more people potentially fitting the bill, the great Slovenian political minds of Dunning-Kruger fame started playing a game of elimination and floating trial balloons. Talk about bringing a knife to a gun fight.

Influencers Kick Off Campaign For EU Vote

Were it not for the hilariously hypocritical brouhaha over a couple of Instafluencers doing in the European Parliament what Instafluencers do best, one would be excused for thinking that 2019 EU elections in Muddy Hollows are eons away.

Influencing influencers (photo: European Parliament Slovenia)

Namely, as a part of their #thistimeimvoting (#tokratgremvolit) campaign, Ljubljana office of the European parliament hauled a couple of Instagram influencers to Brussels, showed them the ropes and let them take selfies with Slovenian MEPs. All in the hope of them, well, influencing their numerous followers to actually give a fuck or two about the upcoming EU vote.