(Who The Fuck Is) Joško Joras

Joško Joras (source)

Last week I promised to write up Joško Joras. Now here we have a rather peculiar character (check this BBC story for background). Not unlike the Isralelis and the Palestinias, Joško Joras decided to inhabit a rather unwelcome piece of land, which just happens to be in a disputed border area between Slovenia and Croatia. Not unlike the Holy land, this particular piece of land too is located on a river bank. It’s just not the West Bank, and as a result doesn’t get all that much attention.

Luck would have it that this particular fleck of land (shown above) is somewhat vital for Slovenian claims to unfethered exit to the international waters. Namely – in the good old days when Tito was still alive, when Cold war was rampant and when there were no silicon boobs – in those happy days noone bothered to divide the Adriatic Sea between Yugoslav republics.

But then all hell broke loose and when the dust settled, there was Joško Joras, a Maribor native (figures!) who settled in Primorska region, inhabiting a small piece of land on the north bank of the river Dragonja (which Slovenia claims to be the border line) and – at the same time- on the south bank of chanell of St. Odoric (an artificially made drainage system, which Croatia claims constitutes the borderline).

Now, I won’t go into who’s right and who’s wrong. But fact of the matter is that Joško Joras suddenly found himself at the centre of a very long border dispute in which he fancies himself as the first, last and only line of defence of the holy Slovene soil. As such he has become very useful to politicians this side of the border, who tend to stir up some pre-election shit every four years. Last year In 2004 SLS’s then presidnt Janez Podobnik (now minister of enviroment) went on an inflamatory trip to Jorasland only four days before elections, wanted to cross the border illegaly (i.e. not on the border crossing) and was consequently roughed up the Croatian police. This year, Joras (who, BTW, ran on SLS ticket in 2004 and suffered an epic defeat) is expected to host truckload of politicians in that unfinished house of his and as Slovenian politicians will make empty threats at taking the land even by force if necesary, Croatians (our new NATO allies) will go apeshit over Slovenes trampling on the holy Croatian soil.

And then, when the political menstrual period (where politicians bleed every ounce of voters’ blood) is over, everyone on both sides of the border will again start asking themselves – who the fuck is Joško?!