Sexual Legislation

So… Where do you fit? :mrgreen:


Based on article and position 69 of the Law on sexual politics and public health (official gazette No. 13/2000) The Minister for Sexual Affairs and Planning

p r o c l a i m s


Group 1

100% incompetent. Will not and can not have sex. A lost case. Uses his appendage only to urinate. Is keen on literature and scientific work. Could become a saint. Rehabilitation impossible

Group 2

Wants to, but can’t. A historian, this man will fondly recollect his past exploits. Writes memoirs. No rehabilitation.

Group 3

A linguist. Uses his tongue a lot. Will play it according to his tastes. Compensates by reading erotic novels. No rehabilitation

Group 4

Party capable. Will have sex with extra help. Mandatory fucking by experts. Has read two books in his life. Needs special therapy. Partial rehabilitation possible

Group 5

A Monthly-Man. Will have sex once a month – on his payday. Will get fucked for the rest of the month. Will read nothing beyond the scope of Sportske Novosti. Possible rehabilitation by extensive support by social services.

Group 6

Weekender. Will have sex only on weekends and in self-defence. Reads only if forced to. Special therapy needed for full recovery.

Group 7

A Daily. Will have sex every day, with possible part-time arrangements, depending on working conditions.

Group 8

A super-fuck. Will have sex in all circumstances and under different conditions. Will not accept the words “I’m having my period” as an excuse. Has an empty head and steel in his trousers. Hasn’t read a single book in his life. Dumb as a dick.

Group 9
Maniac. Illiterate. Will fuck everything In sight: men, women, elderly, youngstes and basically anything that crawls, flies and swims.


In accordance with these Rules only persons in groups 4 to 6 (inclusive) will be provided expert assistance, whereupon the period of active fucking will have been doubled. Appeals will be heard and tested under an extremely rigorous fucking conditions.

On the day these Rules come into effect, any and all benefits for sexually challenged people will cease to exit. These Rules will come into effect within eight days of their proclamation.

*translated in English from various postings on the web

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Agent provocateur and an occasional scribe.

15 thoughts on “Sexual Legislation”

  1. Is sexual legislation gender-specific or should we expect a similar decree for appendixless citizens?

    Care to ellaborate on the grounds for introduction of the above act?

  2. @dr. filomena: Grounds? What grouds? 😈
    Yes, it is gender specifis and I will post a female version as soon as I find it. Perhaps you could help? 🙂

    So, what’s your answer to the question? 😉

    @Dietmar: That would be Group 5, I believe 🙂

  3. @P:
    1. well I thought you might be willing to ellaborate on how the society will benefit from the legislation as you seem to have a some knowledge about the influence of such matters on politics (should I say politicians) and indirectly int’l relations as well.

    2. use your imagination 😈

  4. @dr. filomena:
    I think, if you’re fucked it doesn’t necessarily have an influence on how fucked you are. Just every now and then you don’t give a fuck about it for some minutes 🙂 – Sometimes it even occurs that if you’re fucked you’re really fucked (sometimes for 18 years or longer). Aah fuck it.

  5. @alcessa: you might be confusing different branches of government there 😉 law enforcement in support of the legislation, now that’s a different matter altogether 😈
    BTW where in Germany are you stationed? Anywhere close to Trier?

  6. @Dietmar: How thoroughly fucked you are is very relative and a matter of perception so I still think that while the interdependence between the two phenomena is not necessarily a 100% given, it may come close to said figure 😉

    Make love not war, eh? 😀

  7. Dr. filomena: it only shows my unbelievable power of … of abstract thinking and connecting fields of… Oh, OK.
    But the above peace of leigslation IS hardcore.

    As to Trier: no, I’m nowhere near Trier, I was just lucky enough t visit it a few times…

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