sex and politics

Today’s post is not strictly politics, but as it relates to yesterday’s pit stop by George, Jr. I hope you’ll forgive me. The lighter side of presidential summits can sometimes be quite intreaguing and almost funny. In absense of any real news, the government PR people have released the summit menu, for guys and gals alike. Therefore you can sleep in peace knowing that George, Janez and Jose yesterday had Istrian proscutto with green asparagi and was able to wash it down with a glass of Rebula white wine, but…. C’mon, people! George is a reformed alcocholic! He shouldn’t be allowed within 50 feet of a bottle! Ferfuckssake! What were you thinking! George and wine make for a bad time

The Prez and The Other Prez put their glasses on to read the fine print of the first Slovene Bible (photo: BOBO)

But at least the presents were chosen a bit more carefully. JJ gave the man a state-of-the-art mountain bike which go for a nifty 4k euros a piece which will surely come in handy when George will be doing circles at his Crawford ranch. And when he’s not herding cows, giving speeches or whatever it is former presidents with a ranch do, he’ll be able to contemplate reading a facsimile of the first Holy Bible in Slovene language printed in 1584 by Slovenian protestant intelectual Jurij Dalmatin, which - in all honesty - is quite a beautiful present. It would, however, be even more appropriate if the man were presented with a fascimile of Catechism or Abecedarium by Primož Trubar, the first and second book in Slovene language ever (1550s), especially because Slovenia celebrated 500 years since Trubar’s birth only a day earlier. Wouldn’t that be something? You just threw a big party for the first ever book in your language and the Big Kahuna misses the show by a couple of hours, but you are still able to present him with a copy of your object of celebration. Apparently not all the dogs are barking at the Protocol of the Republic of Slovenia.

But OK, enough bitching and smartassing about it. The guy and his woman were here, they talked the talk and walked the walk. And how did the whole thing look like at street level? Here’s Laura Bush’s motorcade in downtown Ljubljana as shot by yours truly yesterday morning. With a bit of a musical background, naturally

George W. landed at Ljubljana Int’l hours ago for the EU-US summit which is by a curious twist of fate hosted by Slovenia. From a political point of this is actually a non-event, which happens at more or less regular intervals. This is emphasised by the fact that George a lame-duck by now as most of the free world as well as the remains of the axis of evil are looking all the way to November to see whether it’ll be a maverick or a brother running the show.

Air Force One lands at Ljubljana Int’l (source)

As noted yesterday, though, Dubya in Slovenia means some great photo-ops, not to mention a possible bump in the polls for the ruling clicque (and I use the term in the most pejorative way possible). The protocol of the event is rather complicated, though. Officially, Dubya is attending the EU-US summit, which means that he will be hosted by the current President of the European Council who in this case doubles as the Prime Minister of the Republic of Slovenia. Janez Janša, naturally However, George Jr. will be co-hosted by Jose Manuel Barosso, the President of the European Commission who doesn’t double at all Additionally, however, as the event will be taking place in Slovenia, our Prez insisted on meeting with the other Prez and this wish was dully granted. It must be noted that the powers of the US president are in effect those of Slovenian President and Prime Minsiter combined (now you know what Janša is after :)), therefore only a meeting with both the Prez and the PM creates a balance between both delegations. Add to this the loitering Barosso, to whom Janša is superior in terms of protocol during the presidency and you’ve got yourself an all-aces poker hand.

All fine and and dandy so far? A bit complicated, but not all that much, no? No. Unfortunatelly, things got sour with the presidential biotches. A small cat-fight erupted between the PM’s and the President’s cabinets as to which babe will host Laura Bush. Will it be the President’s wife or the Prime Minister’s fiancee? Or perhaps just Ms. Barosso? For a while it seemed that Doc Urška prevailed, but Laura showed up a day early and did some sighseeing on her own, without Janša’s babe holding her hand and today, as the official progamme start, Laura will be hosted by all three ladies.

But don’t get overexcited… Yes, some lucky tourist might have caught a glimpse of Laura having a look into the Franciscan church in downtown Ljubljana, but in reality such summits are about as interesting and glamorous as a cold cow turd on a bad hair day. Believe me, I’ve seen it first hand.

I covered the Bush-Putin meeting in Slovenia in 2001 and I can tell you that covering the US President (especially this president, I would imagine) is shit. If you’re not exactly a member of the White House Press Corp, you cannot even come close to the guy let alone ask him for a statement. The journalistic flock is kept somewhere in the back, major networks do get their own (pre-approved) space, whereas photographers and cameramen are put on a podium which is naturally too small and once Air Force One starts its descent (somewhere above München, probably) you cannot leave the podium. Which is fucked, because you’ll naturally have to take a leak at that precise moment. And as you try to go to give your Johnson a good handsake, darkness falls upon you and looking up you realize that you’ve bumped into a 7-foot tall Secret Service agent who immediately shows you back to your place. Your bladder goes apeshit, while you scratch your back thinking “Wait a minute… I live here. Not you…”. But - naturally - it is of no avail.

And then it happens. The Thief in Chief comes out of his 747, waves, strolls down the steps, inspects the guard of honour, jumps into his rocket-launcher-proof limo and whizzes off. If you’re lucky, you can also attend a joint statement, where you are naturally not allowed to ask questions, but only dully report what was said.

And as he flies away into oblivion, you are left with a huge ammount of useless recordings, because you will end up using the only coherent and meaningful sentence he made in the joint statement, which was the original idea anyway. And then everyone will ask why all the media report the same.

Unless of course they get an exclusive with the man, like POP TV did the other day. In this case you can exclusively watch Bush give only one usable sentence in the interview. Truth be said, the questions weren’t much better either, but the interview was in English

… it seems that focued, ruthless, ice-cold men to whom their nations look up for guidance are actually hot-blooded studs with an eye for prime skin. And while none of them can claim that the other two are his friends (amis, prijatelja, друзя), Nicolas Sarkozy, Janez Janša and Vladimir Putin prove that you can be ugly as the wrong side of a car accident and still get laid with the hottest biotches out there. OK. I’m not saying that Sarko, JJ and Vlad are ugly, but - let’s face it - they ain’t exactly oozing sexiness. And yet…

Nicolas Sarkozy divorced his wife of eleven years (and a partner for nearly twice as much) Cecilia Ciganer-Albeniz (this already being the second marriage for both of them) and married Carla Bruni, a former Italian model, singer and songwriter. But Sarko’s martial exploits were widely reported on and the fact that Carla’s nekkid pic fetched $91k is only icing on a somewhat stale cake. Still, she’s babe-o-licious and as such wasted on him. But maybe - just maybe - she has a plan B. Oh, BTW - Sarko already has three sons. How very French, n’est-ce pas?

Second in our mini tour of beauties and the beasts is this blog’s poster boy, Slovenian prime minister Janez Janša, who sent shockwaves through the claustrophobically uptight Slovenian society when he made his first public appearance together with Urška Bačovnik, an medical doctor, eighteen years his junior. Janša was never married, but did have a long-time partner Silva Predalič which has all but disappeared from his CV. They had two children (with JJ rumoured to have fathered at least one more somewhere), whereas Slovenian public is eagerly awaiting annoucment of a wedding date, possibly pre-dated by Urška’s bulging belly. On the other hand, some people are saying that a lot depends on the election result. If he loses - the line of thought goes - it will be fun to watch just who will dump who.

But the last one is a real shocker. Apparently Russian President Vladimir Vladimirovič Putin divorced (or is about to divorce) his wife of 25 years Ljudmila Škrebneva and is getting hitched to 24-year-old gymnast Alina Kabaeva, a Duma deputy representing Putin’s party United Russia. Just like Sarko and JJ, Putin too fathered a couple of kids - two daughters, to be exact. Call me pro-Russian, but I think Vlad got the best deal of the three - at least looking from the outside.

And this is only the tip of the iceberg… If pengovsky were to write up just every case of Slovenian politicos chasing skirt, this blog would provide for some really juicy and fruity content if you catch my meaning…