Janez Janša’s Letter To Ursula von der Leyen, Annotated

Oh, dear. Looks like it is that time of the year again. Birds migrate, flowers bloom and Slovenian PM Janez Janša writes letters to EU leaders. In this case, a letter to European Commission president Ursula von der Leyen.

Beggining of Janez Janša's letter to Ursula von der Leyen
The letter, as published by the Slovenian governement’s Twitter account

Unlike the last time around, Marshal Twito’s latest literary undertaking is mercifully light on maritime metaphors but heavy on manipulative bullshit and passive-aggressive abuse. This, of course, means it is time for a new installment of the developing sub-genre, pengovsky’s annotated readings of letters by the Glorious Leader.

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Laying For Living

Poor Janez Janša, he just can’t seem to catch a break. No sooner did Slovenian PM see off a somewhat flaccid, though not unnerving no-confidence challenge by Karl Erjavec (more on the aftermath in the coming days), he already started another dumpster fire, this time following a not-so-flattering article by Politico Europe’s Lili Bayer on his love-hate relationship with the media. As in, how he loves to hate them.

Janez Janša railing against Politico Europe journalist on Twitter
Marshal Twito marshaling his minions

For all his professed pro-EU stance, the Glorious Leader seems to be remarkably inept at handling himself on the European stage. Which is, well, not ideal for a guy whose crowning achievement (as per his Twitter bio) was leading the EU Council for six months in 2008. And yet, just as he fucked up royally when he went to bat for his capo Viktor Orban over the rule of law last November, so did he land in a pile of flaming dog shit this week as he and his minions went after the Politico journalist.

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Janša’s Letter To EU Leaders, Annotated

Prime Minister Janša is in the news again. This time he took it upon himself to write a monstrosity of a letter regarding the latest EU spat over rule of law in Poland and Hungary and the union’s seven-year budget connected to it. In the letter addressed to EU Council president Charles Michel, Janša manages to come across as a spineless toady for Viktor Orbán and Jarosław Kaczyński, a person with serious delusions of grandeur, and a failed metaphor writer, at the same time.

The letter that even made the Politico Brussels Playbook

To put it in a nutshell, the letter is yet another shit-show of epic proportions. Not only did Janša copy the letter to every EU leader, as if he’s on a some kind of a grand diplomatic initiative, he did it at the time when he’s got people at home dying by the hundreds on a weekly basis due to Covid-19. And, in a well-executed maneuver of opening mouth and inserting foot, the Glorious Leader is now crying foul over the very same package his own government voted in favour of in Brussels, only days ago. Thus he backstabbed his own diplomatic apparatus for the second time as many weeks.

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A Blessing In Disguise

The faces were long and the statements short in Muddy Hollows on Friday, after the top EU court nixed the Slovenian motion to find Croatia is breaking EU legislation by refusing to enact the arbitration award in the border dispute between the two countries.

Top EU court nixes Slovenia over jurisdiction to force Croatia to implement the arbitration award but tells both countries to get their respective acts together
Slovenian flag in front of the EU Court of Justice (source)

As both readers know, an arbitration tribunal ruled on border demarcation between the two countries in mid-2017 in an award that went largely in Slovenia’s favour, but Croatia refused to acknowledge the result claiming that the process had been irreparably tainted.

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The Hulk, Dead In A Ditch

When Jean-Claude Juncker seemingly insulted Theresa May, by allegedly stating she was nebulous (which he didn’t), she made a beeline for Juncker, confronted him right there and then, and settled the issue.

Xavier Bettel empty-chairing Boris Johnson (source: The Independent)

When Xavier Bettel seemingly insulted Boris Johnson yesterday, by refusing to move a press conference to a more tranquil setting, BoJo made a beeline for the exit, not once looking back.

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