A Bavarian, a Prussian and a Svabian are sitting in the beer garden. A swarm of flies passes and - unfortunately - all three have an insect in their beer. The prussian is shocked and orders a new one. The Bavarian: “Never mind”, gets the fly out of the beer and continues drinking. The Swabian gently puts the fly on the edge of his glass, puts his thumb at the fly’s neck: “Spit it out. All!!”

[1] if not two-legged, at least with nuts and raisins…

A “Gorenjec” was on his death bed and with his dying breath he asked “Marija, my wife, are you here?”
And his wife replied in a soft voice, holding his fragile hand “Yes, my loving husband, I’m here by your side…”
“Lojzka, my daughter, is that you I hear sobbing?” he asks, barely audiable.
“Yes, papa” answeres his dauhter amid tears “I’m hear… Oh, I love you so much!”
And Gorenjec summons his last strenght to ask “Janez, my only son, where are you?”
And his son falls on his knees, crying “I’m here father, I’ll always be here”.
Upon which Gorenjec says “THEN WHO THE FUCK LEFT THE LIGHT BURNING IN THE KITCHEN?!?!?!”

P.S: It was us (the Swabians) who inventet copper wire. Some people claim the Swabians were Scots who were sent to exile, because they were too stingy. And as we have an idiom: to turn the penny twice, before you spend it…

Also: if you need to ask other people to buy you a drink, how come you can afford a holiday? (with “you” I don’t mean you, ARF, I am speaking generally and meaning all of us)