sex and politics

Slovene two-euro coin, featuring France Prešeren, previously the star of a 1000-tolar banknote. Photo: Primož Lavre, source

No, this is not a sob-story about the demise of Slovenian tolar. Neither is this a praise for the common European currency, the euro. It is, rahter, a real-politik based look upon the official admission of Slovenia to Economic and Monetary Union (falsely known as European Monetary Union).

The most obvious effect of this is of course the adoption of euro as Slovenian currency. Slovenia will also transfer a part of its monetary sovereignity to a collective body of European Central Bank, which by means of consensus formy monetary policies for all members of the EMU. Slovenian economy will thus from midnight tonight officially become a part of one of the largest single markets in the world - especially in terms of purchasing power.

Single monetary unit is an extremely important step in creating a sence of internal and external sovereignity. In mid-seventies Henry Kissinger uttered a sad-but-true sentence: “Europe? Who do I call?”. While this is still the case in foreing politics, where member-states refuse to transfer foreign policy powers to Brussells, the question has been solved in monetary area. The Governer of Federal Reserves can now call the Governor of the ECB. EU (or at least, members of the EMU) is at the early stages of external monetary sovereignity (external in this case meaning that it is recognised as a legitimate player by other players). By people actually using the currency - banknotes and coins - the EU is (slowly, but still) also gaining internal sovereignity: being recognized as a legitimate player by its citizens. The process is slow, paintful and not at all even in all areas. Luckily, I might add… Allow me to elucidate with refference to specifics:

I always saw the EU as an entirely Marxist concept. According to Karl any given society is shaped (created, if you will) first by establishing an economic infrastructure, which is followed by a social superstructure. European Union is a text-book expample of this. If we skip the early forms of European economic cooperation (the Coal and Steel Community), we see that the “original” EU (the twelve member states) at first formed European Economic Community (EEC). While it may seem normal from today’s point of view (with the World Trade Organisation and such), the fact that member states were not charging customs for nearly all products imported from another member state was revolutionary for that time (nearly a decade later, in 1992, Slovenia recorded a historic budget surplus, precisely because of charged customs for foreign products).

Now in the years following, the EU jumped a bit ahead of itself. While it may have seemed that adoption the euro and formally declaring a single market was enough in terms of creating an economic infrastructure, allowing the then leaders to eagerly concoct a social superstructure, the truth is that not enough has been done.

While I strongly support further expansion of the EU, which in my opinion must at least include entire Balkan Peninsulla and Turkey (more on that on some other occasion), the same amount of effort (if not more) must be put into actually making the common economy work. Euro is a big step, but it is not enough. Things will not just happen on their own. More must be done to persuade Great Britain to join the eurozone and help other EU members to achieve criteria to join the euro-zone. The benefit will be two-fold: firstly, the fact that one of the hottest economies of the world adopted the euro would be a great boost to both internal and external sovereignity of the EU and secondly, more eurozone members means a bigger common currency market, more business opportunities, etc, etc… To summarise: while building the social superstructure of the EU must continue, the economic infrastructure of the union must be strengtened. To put it in construction terms: The current foundations cannont bear the weight of the structure and must strengthened “toot-suit”, and at the same time the works on the structure must go on. A daunting task, I know… But if one of the two fails to materialize I fear the worst…

So for once I’m glad that my sorry little country where the rule of law was recently raped and mutilated, where minorities are endangered, where the terms “state media” became popular again and where a ban on abortion can still become a proposed government policy, that for once this country did the right thing and did all it can do to forward the European idea - although I believe Europe stands for ideals different than those of the current Slovene government.

P.S.: Happy 2007 to everybody… Whatever the weather, we (always) weather the weather, whether we like it or not…

Hamster - fur of choice by the Bitchs(k)weet team

Pengovsky has cut down on blogging in the past few days, mostly because he caught a nasty case of cold and is trying to get well for the Saturday and Sunday gig at Cutty Sark Pub. But in the mean time a most amazing thing happened - he appeared as an “expert blogger” or as he likes to think - a special guest star at Bitchs(k)weet blog, where Centrifuzija, Blodnja, Megafotr and Predpralec perform and collect bizzare acts of all sorts.

They posted several tutorials on sexual practices, but Pengovsky felt that special tutorials for women on kissing and giving blowjobs were needed. He was challenged to write one (namely a tutorial on kissing), but he heard what he wanted to hear and wrote a tutorial on blowjobs instead, which was - contrary to his expectations - published. The tutorial is in Slovene, but just to give you a general idea, here’s a quick translation of the theoretical background of blowjobs.

Blowjob (more precisely, the lack thereof) is probably one of the most overlooked cause of conflicts in history. The lack of proper blowjobs often led to bad sex, ruined relationships and marriages and - yes - even wars!

Later in this text we shall demonstrate, how a lack of a propper blowjob invariably leads to a bad sexual act. But first we shall do a quick overwiev of the effect blowjobs (or the lack of the aforementioned) have had on some of the key events in recent history:

Archduchess Sophie, wife to Austro-Hungarian heir-to-the-throne Archduke Franz Ferdinand has firmly declined felatio as a sexual practice. She simply wouldn’t blow him. Franz compensated by screwing women all over Bosnia as well as by attending military excersies. One day, after a particularly bitter fight, when Sophie said that she could never ever kiss their children again if she took that thing in her mouth, Franz flipped, put her on a train and took her to Bosnia to show her how that is done. Unfortunatelly, their driver took a wrong turn while they were inspecting the troops, and they ended up in a Serb part of the town. The rest, as they say, is history.

Laura Bush hates blowjobs as well (one hopes that at least the Bush twins are more liberal in that departement). It is no wonder then that W. compensated lack of proper sex by explosions all over the world. Slovenia must immediately propose a UN resolution instructing Ms. Bush to blow her husband at least twice a week, with a six week transition period, when she can blow him only once a week (due to material fatigue, indegestion and/or prostate inflamation). George W. would look forward to “days of felatio” so much that he’d forget about other bullshit and the rest of the world would live in peace and harmony once again.

Hillary Clinton too, neglected her husband felatio-wise. However, Bill is a smart man and he found an assistant willing to risk her career and blow the president in the name of world peace. Thus Clinton never felt the urge to press “the button”.

And last but not least: Ever since Slovene PM Janez Janša met Urška Bačovnik (she’s a doctor, familiar with the anatomy of the human body and blows JJ good, no doubt), he became much more human, even admitting that the government fucked up in the case of the Roma family. Even more, he struck down Drobnič’s proposed ban on abortion.

Well, there you go. The rest is here, in Slovene only.

P.S.: If anyone knows URLs of Predpralec and Blodnja, let me know, so I can link them

On June 26, 1945, sixty-one and a half years ago, representatives of fifty countries all over the world, ravaged by the second world war, signed probably the most important document which proved that human race is a race of hope. The document was of course the Charter of the United Nations and its introductory text (the preamble) is probably the single most important piece of writing on this Earth. It deserves to be cited:

“We the peoples of the united nations determined to save succeeding generations from the scourge of war, which twice in our lifetime has brought untold sorrow to mankind, and to reaffirm faith in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person, in the equal rights of men and women and of nations large and small, and to establish conditions under which justice and respect for the obligations arising from treaties and other sources of international law can be maintained, and to promote social progress and better standards of life in larger freedom, And for these ends to practice tolerance and live together in peace with one another as good neighbours, and to unite our strength to maintain international peace and security, and to ensure, by the acceptance of principles and the institution of methods, that armed force shall not be used, save in the common interest, and to employ international machinery for the promotion of the economic and social advancement of all peoples, have resolved to combine our efforts to accomplish these aims Accordingly, our respective governments, through representatives assembled in the city of San Francisco, who have exhibited their full powers found to be in good and due form, have agreed to the present charter of the united nations and do hereby establish an international organization to be known as the United Nations.”

Today, sixty-one and a half years after the adoption of the UN charter and two thousand and six years after a man was nailed to the cross for saying that wouldn’t it be nice if we all just got along, people – to the best of my knowledge - still die or suffer in the following countries and regions around the world, listed alphabetically: Abkhazia-Georgia, Afghanistan, Algeria, Angola, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Basque Country (Spain), Bosnia, Chad, Congo (Zaire), Chechnya, Colombia, Cyprus, Darfur (Sudan), Eritrea, Guatemala, Haiti, Indonesia, Iran, Iraq, Israel-Palestine, Kashmir (India-Pakistan), Korea (North), Kosovo-Serbia, Lebanon, Liberia, Mexican-American Border, Myanmar (Burma), Nagorno-Karabakh, Northern Ireland, Peru, Philippines, Saudi Arabia, Sierra Leone, Somalia, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Syria, Tibet (China), Turkey-Kurdistan, Uzbekistan, Venezuela, Yemen and Zimbabwe.

While I do not share the faith of the Catholics who believe that the son of God was born on December 25th (nor do I share beliefs of any other religion whatsoever), I do believe that the message of Catholic religion (or of any other religion, for that matter) is one of peace. And that is my wish fo all of us:

Let peace rule this Earth once more.